Learn This From Your Kids…
-Sandy Ames, C.Ht.
Even before cell phones and bluetooth headphones, when you’d see a person walking down the street, especially in New York City, talking to “no one,” no one would care. It’s a way of life.
Still, to this modern day, we regularly see people walking down the street talking to “no one,” and it’s usually pretty clear whether that invisible person is actually invisible, or whether they’re on the other end of a bluetooth headset. Both are equally as common.
Today I had the fine pleasure of walking next to a man who, seemingly out of nowhere, began shouting, “Supervisor. Supervisor. SU-PER-VI-SOOOOR!” We’ve all been there, haven’t we? What’s your record number of times pressing the 0 button? My best trick has been to press the button for sales. Usually you’ll get an eager person. Then hopefully you’ll be directed to another actual person who can actually do something before you have to scream “Supervisor” into oblivion. Verizon has a “Supervisor” that sends you a text and then tells you they just hung up on you.
So when I heard the guy (everyone between 66th and 63rd could hear the guy) repeat “Supervisor” out of nowhere, I was definitely thinking, “Yes, I can hear you now.”
But that poor guy did not feel heard. He wanted so desperately to communicate his message. He was probably right. But no one around him wanted to hear it. And the phone robot only wanted to make him play another game of touching the boxes with the crosswalks or traffic light pictures to prove to the robot that he himself was not a robot. He just wanted to be heard. And in doing so, he came across as angry, creepy, scary, and unsuccessful to boot.
If you have kids, you may have already learned this very valuable lesson. If you haven’t, this is a gem.
See, usually when Kid A hits Kid B, we automatically tell Kid A that he should not hit. Fine, true. But what if we first let kid A know that we believe he probably had a very good reason for hitting kid B. Kid A would be like, “Which alien sucked up my scary authority figures, and how old are you?!” But, ya see, Kid A is just as worthy of a person, and likely has some valuable insights to share. When Kid A feels HEARD, he is much more likely to co-create a successful outcome for all involved. Chances are, he didn’t feel heard by Kid B, and he resorted to a natural stressor instinct called “fight or flight.” Kids are closer to their instincts, since they haven’t yet been trained so far out of them. They’re also still developing impulse control. So, a kid hitting may not be so different from an adult yelling, “supervisor.”
This happens because, …here’s the payoff… we are already in a hyper state of hypnosis. We are walking zombies with too much stimuli coming at us. It is in this state of overwhelm (due to not being heard, or due to perceived lack of freedom) in which we go into instinctual crisis mode. For simplicity, think of it as the reptilian part of your brain being ignited. You go into survival mode. You literally do not have access to your “higher” thinking brain. This is huge.
It is literally impossible to talk down an angry kid or “un-supervised” adult with logic. Why? Because, in this state of environmental hypnosis, we do not have access to the logical part of our minds. You’ve certainly heard that you can’t convince a fool. So when someone’s acting “foolish,” let them. They are believing in a threat, whether real or perceived. Meet them where they are. Allow them the space to come back down and regain access to the calm part of their mind, where information and higher thinking are stored. Otherwise, It’s you against a hungry crocodile.
Even if the customer service person puts you on hold, then comes back with a different accent and pretends to be a supervisor, you will not convince them of anything. You are in a hyper state of hypnosis. And, based on their job, they probably are too. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll get that $14.99 refund for all your stress, tension, and time spent on the phone, rather than, say, spending that time meditating. I don’t know about you. But I’ve spent many hours, and felt pain in at least two parts of my back trying to prove my point with a supervisor, or worse, a non-supervisor. Usually what I end up doing with that $14.99 refund is going to get a $125 massage, after a $25 yoga class. I could have saved $135.01 by spending that 15 minutes meditating.
De-hypnotizing people is one of the greatest jobs of a seasoned hypnotherapist.
You’ve got a lot going on. And, those things that are stressing you out to no end… you’re probably right about them. All of them. But here’s the thing. Let it go. Be easy on yourself. Start a meditation practice. If you don’t know how, I’ll teach you. If you need a really super powerful head start, start by booking yourself a hypnosis session. You’ll re-program your mind as simply as pressing the back of an electronic device with a pen-tip for 30 seconds. You’ll re-boot. You’ll find yourself back at who you really are. But better for all the life you have lived, and all it has taught you.
Ommmmmmm,
Sandy